Teenage Triathlete

Technorati Confirmation (Don't Read Its Useless)

2009-07-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

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From Terrible; to Really Not That Bad!

2009-07-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

Protein Shakes. Yuck. Ew. Gag. Throw Up. Run Away Screaming. Etc.

These are normally the sounds heard when these vile drunks are mentioned. Because (as I said) I can eat anything I want, I drink the one that has nothing at all to do with weight loss or anything, Muscle Milk. It's chocolate and, even though its really only protein in a milkshake, its not great. I mean, I can drink it plain, and I'm fine. I just think its good to make things taste good (bc who doesn't) so I mix mine into a delicious smoothie. Well, as delicious as I can get with... well milk.

Steven's Super Protein Shake:

Ingredients:

2 Bananas
4 scoops of peanut butter
A glass of ice
Half a cup of milk
One Chocolate Muscle Milk container

Blend all of the above in a blender on high until smooth. Obviously, you can substitute anything for anything, like muscle milk for another shake. Feeling adventurous? Try adding chocolate chips, a sweetener packet, or nuts to the shake.

Happy Drinking!

Damn You, Tony Horton!

2009-07-12T18:53:00.000-07:00

P90X. An intense workout for fit people. A scary intense workout for fit people. A scary painful intense workout for fit people. A scary painful intense workout for people with really big egos that give them the idea that they can actually do P90X. Enter me.

P90X works by confusing your muscles in a system called "muscle confusion" (stating the obvious, I know,) and was created by Tony Horton. So you do legs one day, back the next, then arms, then toenails, teeth, arm hair, etc. (I kid you, of course.) Day One is chest and back. Thats about an hour long. I was literally completely dead. I mean, I wasn't even alive. I mean, I had no heartbeat. (Again, I kid you, of course.) So then, after an hour of chest and back, they throw on ab ripper x. Thats another 20 mins. OUCH. OUCHY. PAIN, IN EVERY PART OF ME.

So I do this torturous workout in an effort to get strong for basketball, like I mentioned before. Anyway, over all I liked P90X's intensity. I only make fun of it because it can make fun of me as I struggle to do what it instructs me to do.

Tony Horton, follow me (or whatever, again, I'm new) and maybe you can make fun of me personally, instead of through my DVD player.

Day One: Complete. Sometime this week I'll try to do some swimming or biking or running. If I feel like it. Maybe.

Triathlete My Ass!

2009-07-11T23:00:00.000-07:00

Swimming. Biking. Running. Scary. Really scary. So scary it makes me want to walk home to my mom, (walk because running is scary, remember?) In fact, until about two weeks ago, I had no desire to do a triathlon. But before we get into what did put this crazy, idiotic plan into my crazy idiotic head, I think you should all learn a little bit about who you're dealing with (and by who, I mean me.)

I am 14, I am going into my freshman year of high school, I am a guy, and I live in Maryland. My name is Steven. You can call me Steven. I have a natural skill-like thingy for running, I just have that endurance built in. But, come on, who likes running? What i really do like is to play basketball and I'm hoping to make my high school team when the season comes. While I'm no Lebron, I am 5'10" and still have a long ways to go until I reach my full height (so basically, I'm tall.) I also don't really look like a basketball player. I'm pretty "lanky" (whatever that means.) I'm so tall, yet I only weigh 130 pounds. I can eat and eat whatever I want and not gain an ounce (yeah, be jealous.) Of course, that doesn't exactly equal out to being a very big force on the court, so one of my goals of training is to get larger, bigger, and heavier by becoming more muscular (don't laugh, it could happen.)

In fact, before summer started, that was my only goal. I wasn't even thinking about that thing called a triathlon. Then my cousin went and lost 40 pounds and announced he was going to do a sprint distance triathlon. Stupid bastard put the phrase, "so yeah I'm gonna be doing a triathlon soon," into my brain, I went and told every girl on the East Coast what I was training for, and now I gotta go do a damn triathlon!

When those girls asked when I would be doing this triathlon, I said, "I don't know, probably late September. I have my eye set on this one in Long Beach, CA. Yeah, like my parents are going to fly me to Long Beach, CA. Anyway, there are a bunch of triathlons going on in September in this time zone, and I figured two and a half months was enough to get ready for it. After all, I have done a whole 5k in 26 minutes and 42 seconds (thats like walking from the bathroom to the bedroom compared to a tri, but it sounded impressive, so I said it anyway.) So a few days later, I went to the pool. I figured out that I should be able to do around 36 laps non-stop (because there's no stopping and standing in a river or a lake or the ocean, which is where the swimming portion of the race takes place.) I did two, stopped for a minute, did half of another and nearly drowned. The only reason I didn't drown was because I picked the shallowest lane in the shallowest side of the pool that had lanes. So I swallowed about half the pool, remembered I could stand, thanked god I wasn't in a river, and stood up looking like an idiot who can't swim any better than a miniature daschund. It was then I decided that it will probably take a little longer than two and a half months to prepare for this. Two and a half years should do it. Maybe.

So, via this blog, you can follow my journey (whether it be three months long or three millennia,) to becoming a teenage triathlete. You'll learn about my training, my eating (I'm gonna talk to a nutrionist, who will yell at me for my bad eating habits,) and we can even share some laughs, even though we'll be laughing right at my face. You may even learn something about your own journey to triathletism (it's a word....kinda.) Official training starts tomorrow. To share in my humiliation, just click follow (or whatever you click, I'm new to this)